50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”
Men are always quick to believe two things about a woman: One, that she is weak, and two, that she finds him attractive
I mean, they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.